Lessons from the real-world Noel Constant that I didn’t ask for
The creative workplace is a peculiar place. In some ways its very different than other parts of the working world, and in some fundamental ways it’s not. Creatives (I know we hate this term) come from all angles. Some study at four-year colleges, others are self-taught and everything in between. There is a vein of meritocracy that is refreshing: if you do good work you will be rewarded. This is the ideal and as we all know, in this world, ideals are rarely met.
Creative output is hard to measure. You can apply some metrics: revenue, awards, press, pats on the back from your boss–but most of the time it is completely subjective. One person might view your project as a runaway hit and the next person might hate the color blue and thinks your solution is a personal attack on their senses. You knew they hated blue you passive aggressive bastard. In other fields the metrics are clear cut. Your marketing plan generated a positive ROI. You got called to a house to fix a toilet and when you left everything worked again. The stock you picked went up 136.78% and you made us all more money than most designers see in a lifetime.
These are facts that every designer learns to live with–aside from the money thing. We learn to manage the subjective feelings and we find ways to explain our “process” to make those around us feel like they sort of understand what we do. There are many days at work where I feel like the aforementioned plumber. “We have this big mess here. Can you design us some way out of this horrible situation we created? Thanks.” Shit rolls downhill. We’ve all been a part of this scenario. We put on our gloves (mouse/tablet) and hardhat (headphones) and we get to work. Some hours later we’ve got a few ideas about how to “put lipstick on a pig” and solve the problem.
I’m not here to talk about the problem solvers. I want to address Noel Constant. You’ve all worked with him (or her). If you haven’t it’s just a matter of time so thank me now for the warning. Noel Constant is a fictional character from Kurt Vonnegut’s ‘Sirens of Titan’. I call him the luckiest man on earth, while that moniker was often attributed to his son, Malachi Constant, in the novel. He generated a massive fortune by speculating on the stock market. His fail-proof system was simple: write out sentences from the Gideon Bible and use the characters as stock ticker letter pairs. When the stock doubled he would sell it and buy the next one, and so on. He made tons of money this way. Noel Constant was not a genius. He stumbled into something that worked and didn’t fuck it up. He was just smart enough to realize this and stayed true to that method.
Years ago, I worked at a company that was worth many millions of dollars. In less than ten years the company had grown to be a major player in their space and had (as rumors told) turned down a $300 million dollar buyout offer from a larger competitor. This was all before my time there. I came in pretty late in the game, the tables had turned and the competition was on the attack. Sales were fading. The founders, had a bit of Noel Constant in them. Through some dumb luck and some smarts they found a product niche that no one saw and they took full advantage. They could do no wrong–until the ground beneath changed. Then no one looked as smart. The company was sold for (again, rumored) $7 million.
I lived though a very similar story a few years later. The scale was different but what seemed like a major company quickly faded into non-existence because Noel Constant’s luck ran out. Factors outside the company walls changed, and the leaders weren’t able or weren’t willing, to change to meet the new reality.
In the real world, luck is a major element that determines the outcome. We don’t like to admit this fact. We make up stupid slogans like, “Make your own luck” or “The harder I work, the luckier I get”. This is called denial: a way to keep yourself going. It can help some people. The multitude of these slogans all over the internet proves this fact.
Noel Constant is everywhere. He’s the guy who worked for X brand (that everyone loves at your company) and can do no wrong. That is until he does wrong, then he’s suddenly the biggest idiot and is unceremoniously shown the door. It’s not really Mr. Constant’s fault. We all want to be around the luck. We want to draft off that success and bask in the glow. The problem is that none of this is real. It’s totally imaginary and not based on expertise or actual accomplishments. Noel Constant uses this to his advantage. He speaks well and is able to ride the myth to the bank.
I’ve come to realize that I do not have the luck. I’ve come up with many ideas that could have been valuable if the timing had been different. I store these wins (if you can call them that) in my back pocket to keep my spirits up. My bank account will tell you another story. I’ve seen two companies I worked for fall into obscurity. I’ve had several personal ventures fail (and a few succeed in some minor way). Is my confidence shaken? Sure, a little bit. But that’s not my real issue, I will keep making stuff no matter what, this is just how I’m wired. My real problem is that Noel Constant keeps on winning. Jealousy? Yeah, there is some of that–I’d love to be in that position. I just wish that world could see what I see. Noel Constant is not a genius, he never was. He is not a dummy. Don’t be persuaded by tales of glory.
I’m more interested in what have you actually made this week?
What did you, yourself, imagine and bring to life with your own hands?
What personal projects are you emotionally invested in?
Working in the creative field for over 15 years has taken me many places, paid my bills (mostly) and taught me a lot. To be honest, it’s hard sometimes to keep it up. Noel Constant is killing me. I can’t work with him and he’s fucking everywhere.
At least the character, Noel Constant from the Vonnegut stories, had the good sense to lock himself in a hotel room.
Now go read ‘The Sirens of Titan’, by Kurt Vonnegut